Besides the joy that comes from such occasions, there is a purpose underlying such festivities. That purpose is one of traditioning. Festivals and like occasions remind us of who we are, where we came from, and how we ended up being where we find ourselves today. It is important for the simple reason that it gives us wisdom in charting out where we will move on from here. This must resonate with the Kierkegaardian adage, "Life must be lived forward, but understood backwards."

At the point of instructing his people on how they should live, the Lord began by saying "I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt", for the subsequent commandments would have made sense only if this memory of the great deliverance was kept alive. It can be likened to the way Chinese parents tell their children, "Always remember your roots."

Perhaps this is why it has now become so difficult for us to decide how we should live and where we should go from here... tradition, for many (especially in relation to the expression of the Christian faith), has become almost a vulgarity.

We have forgotten how to remember.

Like the tiny fingers of the musical notations that form a symphony, the intricacies of life sweep us through the motions in accordance with the orchestration of the Great Conductor. There are moments when we face the music of hope, and there are moments when we are confronted helplessly by the alarming tunes of despair.

For some, the deafening sound of despair thunders endlessly like a bottomless abyss. The resounding voices of chaos composed of a plethora of notes falling beyond the range of our finite threshold propel us into the chorus of unreason and absurdity. At this point, the tune loses its rhythm. We then know no longer how that tune is to be carried in its entirety in the absence of understanding.

At this point, all that is left for us to do is to carry the tune allotted to us note by note, line by line; even if it means playing a melody that fails to harmonise with the wider symphony which falls beyond our range of comprehension. It is about trusting the capability of the Great Conductor as he collates these notes together to form a symphony of praise. It is about yielding to the depth of the Great Conductor's wisdom, submitting that he alone knows the worth of a symphony that is composed of the sweat, blood, and tears of those he loves.

If any man should profess a willingness to follow you even unto death, let his words be truly emanating from a willing heart, lest they be mere boastful ignorance before you. If any man should profess an undivided commitment to the cause of your Kingdom, let his claim convict his entire being, lest it becomes a rude lie in your face.

I so desire to state such bold claims in matters pertaining to my faith and my will to follow you. But it is beyond me to speak of a devotion that I cannot yet see. Inasmuch as I desire to say that my heart is ruled solely by the Eternal One, the Lord God Almighty, this claim would be a lie, for there are yet rival thrones in my life. And so I will simply say "Help me Lord, for I want to.."

"I will attempt day by day to break my will into little pieces. I want to do God's holy will, not my own."

In attempting to unravel the instances of disunity throughout the history of the Church, the acute lack or absence of theological dialogue must jump out at the observer. In the presence of civil dialogue (and perhaps less fixation upon the sustenance of institutional bureaucracies), much could have been done to avoid the logical necessity of the fragmentation of the Church in the face of theological dissimilarities.

There must be an attitude of humility in theology. Humility is the climate that provides for healthy dialogue and mutual learning so as to promote a momentum of healthy dialectics within the Body of Christ. But in advancing the case for humility in our theological attitude, I am not appealing for inferiority. Humility and inferiority are different things. Unlike that of a climate of humility, a healthy dialogue cannot take place in an unequal environment of inferiority. Inferiority is not the way of Christ, but humility is.

It may be reasonable to advance that humility is what sets generous orthodoxy apart from unmoving, unembracing, statically fossilised, fundamentalistic evangelicalism.

This is just a moment of staring blankly at the wall (and at this particular point in time, the computer screen), just appreciating the "nothingness" of the moment. There is a load of work commanding my attention, but that can wait, for silence and solitude have thrown themselves into my embrace. Like teadust in a porcelain cup, I immerse myself in the warmth of stillness.

Whilst I have been speaking much about conversations within the context of community, one can kill issues by over-analysing and talking too much about them. There is some truth to the proverb that says "In much of our talking, half of our thinking is murdered". So this is the case with the present moment.. silence, solitude, and stillness are in order.

In just a while, I will be attending the Holy Communion Service at the seminary chapel, marking the commencement of the new academic year. I will be teaching Christian Theology, and in time to come, Christian Philosophy and Sociology-related subjects as well. I look to my Fathers of the Church in search of wise counsel, and this they have to say:

Let the meaning of your words shine forth, let understanding blaze out from them. Let no word escape your lips in vain or be uttered without depth of meaning.

Protect me, not so much from harm, but from tendencies to desire from life only that which is pleasant and immediately gratifying to my mortal soul. When I fail to live up to your dream for me as a free moral agent in the reign of your Kingdom, protect me from myself.

Inasmuch as my mind can conceive of the the abstractions of this world together with the fascinating and intriguing intellectual heights of humankind, I desire most of all to love you deeply. Let not my lofty desires and perilous inclinations hinder my narrow path towards your eternal throne.

Through this day, may I yet uncover another fraction of my life story that I can offer up to you so you may weave this story - however minute, feeble, and insignificant - into the larger story of your Kingdom.

For thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

We live in a world that is culturally conditioned. What is acceptable in terms of one's expression of love and devotion is very much conditioned (and often limited) by the culture in which one is immersed.

But to love radically means being willing to lay down one's self for the cause of love itself. And this act itself is one that defies much of the boundaries established by culture. It challenges the effect of such conditioning. And the expression of this love, because it now defies cultural norms, becomes offensive to the sensibilities of others.

But for the very few...the very few... who begin to understand the depth of these expressions, they will experience what it means to love radically. In understanding that love comes at a price, perhaps in time, they too begin to offend the sensibilities of the world.

Perhaps superficiality is a very safe place in which to stand. Despite a deep longing for relationships that are real, authentic and deep, superficiality helps one to guard the reality of one's insecurities. We are afraid to bare the poverty of our souls and the barenness of our spirits to others, for we fear despise and seek to avoid it at all cost. Because we know that the world seeks heroes who have it within them to perform, people whom others can "dream of".

And so we spend a considerable measure of our lives in outward adornments so as to develop facades that render us admirable. We do not desire to be seen as people who live with a lack or a need unmet, but rather, as people who have it all in exaggerated abundance. We have an exceeding overflow of relationships, but none of which can embrace us in a posture of nakedness.

To be real is to be weak. Authenticity requires a deep measure of vulnerability and the surrendering of one's self to possible scorn and abuse...or worse still, total disregard. This is so because authenticity reveals realms of our being that others do not envy. Hence, to be real and authentic is to embrace the willingness to be "less". It truly takes a strong person to embody authenticity in weakness.

I desire, in this letter, to speak with you briefly on the issue of desperation and despair. As much as we are (and should continuously be) conscious of our mission to inspire the world to live in the way of the Master, realism must constitute the appropriate order of the day. Keep your eyes on the state of humankind today, and you will realise the truth in that which I am saying. Much of our world, even if not in totality, is characterised by desperation and despair...and as much as it pains me to say this, even hopelessness. But of course, you understand that I am speaking from a plainly human point of view.

Let me begin by affirming that it is appropriate to revel in the creative work of our Master in the world. He created the world ex nihilo (out of nothing) and he pronounced it good. I hope you understand that it is our Master who is solely responsible for the existence of creation, and even for the possibility of existence itself. In his creative work, he undertook to create every single atom which exists in the order of the universe today. He did not begin this work merely by fashioning something out of a substance that had already existed independent of him.

His work of creation did not end there, my young friend. The creative work of our Master still abides even as I write to you. It is creatio continua (continuous creation). The entire order of creation is perpetually contingent upon the creative providential work of our Master. If for one instance he were to withdraw his sustaining power from the universe, we would fall not merely into ruins, but into utter nothingness. This I desire to emphasise, so you understand the magnitude of our Master's power and his faithful sustaining grace.

But complications have arisen. People have asked, if our Master is indeed so good, and if in fact the creation that he has made was pronounced good, why then is there pain and suffering in the world? It is in this context that I wish to speak with you about despair and desperation. I am not attempting to offer answers; but perhaps I can suggest a possible alternative of perceiving desperation and despair in life.

Have you, dear apprentice, found yourself so driven to this despair of which I speak? There is a need so deep and intense within you that you know no mortal being can fulfill. Many times throughout your life, you attempt to turn to some person you meet in a hope that your intense need and desire can be fulfilled. And yet humankind never fails to fail you. And so you learn to turn to the Master to seek the fulfilment of your deepest desires. But our Master is no mortal; he is no flesh and blood as we are. Hence, you find no fulfilment in that which you derive from your engagements with him either, for your need is a mortal need. It seems like there is no source - neither in heaven nor on earth - from which you can find that which you seek. Hence, desperation and despair.

Certainly, not all have been called to walk this path of pain and suffering, or to survive a life-long hunger that may never be filled. But I have met a selected few who have. As you journey with such special people, I trust that you will see the potential for redemptive value in this situation. For while their need may never be filled in the sense that they expect, it is this absence of a solution that propells them to cling on to the Master in a way that is unfamiliar to those others who are alien to the realm of pain and suffering. This, of course, will never mitigate their pain, although they can and should keep seeking the Master for spiritual and emotional sustenance. But for as long as the pain and suffering abides, it keeps their hands tightly clenched in the hands of the Master.

It is a complicated and oppressing place to find one's self in. But it keeps one reliant on the creatio continua of our Master. Have you been there before? If not, I pray in time that you will.

Yours most affectionally,
Senior Apprentice

Whilst these other voices keep calling out to you and saying "You are not alone", and whilst what they say may be entirely true after all, there is a level of consciousness at which you realise that the road is yours to walk... alone. And even if you tried to latch onto the comfort that is offered by others, such attempts only leave you high and dry. In the final analysis, it is just you and God.

And this is precisely where the real dilemma lies: you cannot see him. You cannot depend on that which is within the capacity of your mortal sight, and yet you also cannot seem to reach out for consolation from the unseen God. Of course, like so many other people, you can pretend to see him and claim that you have been touched by his visible hand; but you know that this would be less than the truth (at least in your present predicament).

So you cannot find comfort in the visible, thus necessitating you to seek solace from the ever-present eye of the invisible God. But you agonise, time after time, over the painful reality that you cannot see him. How mysterious are the ways of a God who wills that I should find rest only in him, but who gives me eyes that see him not and ears that hear him not.

I cannot find you. So here I remain, waiting for you to come and find me...

So great are the trials, and so profound the darkness, spiritual as well as corporal, through which souls must pass, if they will attain to perfection, that no human learning can explain them, nor experience describe them. He only who has passed through them can know them, but even he cannot explain them.

- John of the Cross -

Greetings once again. I trust this letter finds you in good stead, and that you are faithfully scaling every height that this missional journey presents before you. Such adventures in our lives are not always entirely pleasant, but we must learn to be at peace with ourselves and with the Master.

I believe you have been reminded unceasingly, my friend, that the vows you have taken in preparation for this journey have only one end in mind: being missional. And your mission is simply to love the world into the Kingdom of the Master. But you also need to understand what the love of our Master is like, for there is much more to know about his love than meets the eye.

Our Master has a strange capacity to love, which (even after my years of having known him) still intrigues me beyond all captivating powers of the present order of things. You see, he loves in a most dispassionate posture. It is most difficult to crystalise my understanding regarding the state of his disinterest, for I myself have yet to attain the fullness of this virtue. But in saying that our Master loves dispassionately, I do not mean that he has no passion for his people or that he does not love his work. Rather, I mean that he has a capacity to love in such an unselfish way.

When our Master loves others, he loves them for their own sake, and not for that which he may desire from them. He desires the wellbeing of these objects of his love from a truly unselfish interest that he has in them. His dispassionate love is most apparent when it comes to his willingness to seek the good of others even at his own expense.

And yet the amazing paradox is such that his own interest is best served when he loves dispassionately! He wills the good of his people not for the sake of his own good, but simply because he seeks the highest good. Hence, the way that the Master promotes his own interest is to require (of himself and of others) a love that seeks the good of the object loved. This means that to seek to love simply for the promotion of his own interest itself defies his own interest in the highest good. You must find this paradox as baffling as I do, but such is the way of our beloved Master. Worry not, my young friend, for you have many years to learn the missional ways of the Master. Even I stumbled across this discovery almost by accident.

But I need you to know this fact about our Master because when he requires his subjects to love him supremely, he only imposes the same law upon them that he does upon himself. And this knowledge, I am certain, will shed greater light on your understanding pertaining to your missional journey. Until then, my precious friend and companion in the journey, keep loving and living.

Yours most affectionately,
Senior Apprentice

It is the dawning of a new day, a new year, and a new moment in the history of creation when the Master faithfully persists in his crafting of your story and mine. What do you think is in store for you in the year ahead? Exciting and adrenalin-pumping moments of inexhaustible adventure? Or heart-wrenching and trying times?

Whatever your expectations are of the year ahead, I ask that you be prepared to face situations of all kinds. In both joy and in pain, in comfort and in hardship, you must find a steadfast place within yourself that empowers you to be at peace in all circumstances of your life journey. This is possible only when the secret place within you is at peace with the will and purpose of the Master for your life, my dear friend. The moment at which you begin doubting the credibility of the Master's intentions and questioning the integrity of his capabilities, you lose the power is to be found therefrom. Be cautious, therefore, with the thoughts that the feeble human mind is inclined to entertain.

I ask also that you persist in developing a keen sense of self-awareness. Self-awareness speaks of the power of one's observation of his own inclinations towards certain thought and behaviour patterns, and the ability to comprehend the possible effects of these thought and behaviour patterns upon one's self and others.

You see, whilst some people (like yourself) have the ability to optimise the potential of your existence, the rest of the world simply exists. To settle for a state of mere existence is undesirable, for the Master desires that you should so comprehend the depth with which he has designed you and the ability with which he has endowed you to be a source of inspiration to your fellow humankind. Cultivate deeper self-awareness, for the measure to which you are able to inspire the world to share with you in our Master's dreams is also commensurate with your measure self-awareness. Know not just why you exist, but also how to exist.

Our Master loves new beginnings, my young apprentice. And if you would look to him, he keeps no records of your imperfections from the past. This year marks a new chapter of the journey, and hence a new beginning. And yet, the paradoxical beauty of it lies in the reality that the new chapter your journey is in fact a continuation of an ancient legacy that has been passed down to us by our Fathers. What a beautiful story. Come, run the race... tirelessly.

Yours most affectionately,
Senior Apprentice