DYNAMICS OF CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP
1. Relationality in Christian Friendship
Martin Buber, Jewish philosopher and author of I and Thou, describes the existence of two kinds of relationships between living beings.

On the one hand, there is the "I-It" relationship in which one being relates with another functionally. In such a relationship, the other person is instrumentalised for a specific purpose and a desired end. He is treated as one would treat a thing that is manipulated for one's own fulfillment.

On the other hand, there is the "I-Thou" relationship in which one being relates with another as an equal. In such a relationship, the other person is seen as an "other" and is treated with respect. He is accorded the privilege of revealing himself in the way that he desires to be known.

It is imperatival that Christian friendship should take place at the "I-Thou" level. We approach others in friendship simply because it reflects the nature of God, not because our friendships are instrumental in propelling us to fulfill a desired end.

The world, as it is, has enough manipulative and instrumental relationships. Friendships have often been perceived functionally rather than relationally. Unfortunately, this is true even of the Christian community. There is a tendency to value others because of what they can contribute rather than simply because of who they are as people whose life stories are beautiful in themselves.

In the world of Christian friendships, there must no longer be unequal relationships. Wherein concerns the purpose of the Kingdom, we are all accorded equal honour despite the reality of our equal poverty, equal inability, and equal dependence on grace.

In this regard, it is also time for Christian communities (i.e. local churches) to be keenly aware of our propensity to befriend others for the sake of "saving their souls" or for the sake of "growing healthy ministries". We should befriend others simply because we are ourselves friends of God.

Befriending the world reflects the friendly nature of God. No longer should we befriend others for desired ends - even if those ends seem noble in accordance with our purest of intentions. For the moment the enterprise of friendship is employed for human-generated ends, the soul of friendship itself is compromised, and friendship breaks down even before it begins.

Within the scheme of the Kingdom of God and in accordance with the being of the Trinitarian God, friendship exists for the sake of itself. Because the Trinity is about God as an intimate community of friends, and the Kingdom of God is about God drawing creation unto himself in intimate friendship.