3. Grace in Christian Friendship
It is strange how we often almost too easily assume that others are not trying hard enough, or that they simply are refusing to try to live a life that is consistent with Christian ideals. It is somehow difficult to see that, just like us, others are perhaps actually trying to live their lives in the best way they know how.

Could it be that the imperfections we see in them exasperate us because they are so reflective of our own inadequacies (of which we hate to be reminded)? Could it be that our reluctance in offering grace is reflective of our own reluctance in acknowledging that we too actually need grace from God and our friends?

Friendship cannot deepen in the absence of grace. It must begin with a consciousness that we live in a world that is less than perfect. The exchange of friendship and the sharing of life is then understood in the context of a community of people living their lives in the best way they know how, and striving together to dance towards the dream of the Kingdom... in a very imperfect way.

We are bound to fall along the way, but we are not judged. We are loved and accepted and restored. Friendship is safe where there is grace. There will be no need to hide our stories or conceal our deepest struggles where we know we are loved. We are wounded, but we nurse one another's wounds. Grace in friendship therefore liberates one to reveal himself as he truly is, knowing that such impartations of grace will propel him increasingly towards perfection in the love of God. It creates a responsive attitude of constant repentance.

The offer of friendship is the offer of grace to those who need it. Jesus, instead of going around to proclaim judgement on the unrepentant, went about offering friendship and inviting others to share in his life. He gave his friends the liberty to discover within themselves a desire to reach out for the grace he was offering. The key to invoking repentance is not so much the proclamation of judgement, but the offering of grace through friendship.

In offering friendship and grace, the receiver also learns how to offer the same gift to others. Of course, there are those who neither feel nor acknowledge the need for grace or friendship. But friendship is not for everyone. It is for those who desire it and who know that their lives will be enriched by it.

Many people find that friendship is a futile exercise, for it is a waste of time. Others think that they are already engaged in that which they perceive to be friendships. And yet others engage in friendships that are abusive, such that they become the abusers. Hence, friendship is not for everyone; it is not even simply for anyone who calls himself "Christian".

In friendship, lives are intertwined together. And as they together experience the grace of God through one another, there is an overflowing gratitude towards the constant grace in their midst. This grace has an affective power that flows out beyond that friendship. As that grace flows out, others are inspired to reach out for it as well. Friendship therefore brings the world closer to the dream of the Kingdom.