The contents of this post is a reply to Irene's letter:
No Friendship Without Vulnerability

Dear Irene,

I know as I reply this letter of yours, that you're at some mountain somewhere in Borneo or something like that. While you're there, don't forget Sherman on the Mount! I love mountains; they always bring me into a strange state of reflective nostalgia about life. There's a tranquility about mountains that calms the soul and brings a sense of depth into our fragile lives; well, at least for me. Having said that, don't forget to come back.

Such a timely moment to discuss the issue of vulnerability. In the past week or so, I've had a renewed lesson and challenge in relational vulnerability. I had a problem with someone whom I perceived to be a friend (admittedly, I didn't know this person very well, to begin with). The point is, at the initial stage of our friendship, I chose to disclose myself in vulnerability by revealing certain things about my life, my story, my struggles, etc. Next thing I knew, this person had started listening to gossips about me and had started using against me information that I had disclosed about myself. How's that for an opening story in a discussion on vulnerability?

This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me. But despite this, I still maintain that vulnerability is necessary in friendship. This may sound rather dogmatic, but I believe that the only way to walk into a trinitarian friendship is to walk into it with no holds barred - total vulnerability. I'm not speaking as one who's already achieved it, but rather, as one who's still learning what it means for myself. But just as Jesus embraced Judas Iscariot in vulnerable friendship - allowing the one who'd eventually betray him to live with him and to handle the finances of the community - we too are called to embrace that kind of vulnerability towards all the potential Judases in our lives. Yeah, scary.

Essentially, this is what a God-ordained friendship is about. It's about not seeking to preserve or protect ourselves. It's about walking into a potentially hurtful relationship that may cause us to be at the losing end. It's about a willingness to be the foolish one; the loser. How painful it must've been for our Lord. And yet, the more I come to think of it, the more I can't help but ask myself how many times I've - intentionally or otherwise - been a Judas to others who have walked in vulnerability towards me.

Each hurtful situation I find myself in should only serve as a reminder for me that I've done this to my friends and to the Friend of all friends countless times. It should also serve as a challenge to be, increasingly, reflective of the Friend of whom I'm a friend.

Vulnerability is a principle that's difficult to embrace because we perceive ourselves as living in a dog-eat-dog world wherein people are waiting to devour one another. And if we don't preserve ourselves, who will, right? But perhaps it may be a little easier if we start learning to perceive this world as consisting of people who're merely living their lives in the best way they know how, trying to survive emotionally. And perhaps walking in vulnerability is our way of identifying with the human dilemma, the human struggle. It's the way of a friend.

Having said that, it's difficult. But let's keep trying and not stop dreaming, even if it means we'll be betrayed and brought to places where we'll receive emotional lashings, one after another. May God give us the grace to keep dreaming.

Ei, when are you coming back?!

To friendship!
Sherman