Editor's Note: This is the last post for the year. I promise!

He was apprehensive. He had been a young pastor of a local church for about five years now but had never attended the Pastors' Fellowship before. It was just about four days before that a friend of his, also a pastor of another local church in the same town, mentioned that there was a Pastors' Fellowship which met every Thursday night. He wasn't sure that he'd be interested to participate in yet another programme. After all, the church activities alone were enough to wear a pastor out. The last thing he needed was another commitment to break the camel's back.

Upon his friend's persuasion, he decided to give it a try anyway... but with much hesitance. He couldn't imagine sitting through another formal meeting of pastors hanging around one another in their clerical collars and trying to look as uprightly holy in one another's eyes. As if the expectations of their own church members weren't enough. But still, he gave it a try.

On the Thursday evening, he stepped into the Pastors' Fellowship meeting and was greeted warmly as they always do to newcomers. As they began with sumptuous refreshments, he thought it was a good way to begin a meeting - just like all church fellowships. But after over half an hour of refreshments and seemingly superficial conversations, he began to feel that something was amiss, because they didn't seem like they were intending to begin a meeting of any sort!

But eventually, the pastors did seem to start clustering together, although none of them seemed to be in a rush of any sort. Considering their busy schedules, this was rather an anomaly. Anyway, he joined the cluster that seemed to be forming itself very automatically.

As the "meeting" begun and some of them were still holding cups of drinks in their hands, a very senior looking man in their midst initiated what seemed to be a very informal conversation. He asked, "How have all of you been, my friends?" And strangely, the rest of the pastors actually seemed keen to respond to the question, and they began chatting about life as if they were around trusted old friends. This newcomer now began to feel that something was different about this group of pastors - or were they really friends after all? It felt almost... safe.

As he was entertaining his thoughts, someone in the group abruptly lifted his hands, looking pretty nervous and yet earnest about something he obviously had to say. The senior friend in the group nodded towards him, and everyone looked at him to listen to what he had to say. What followed was an occasion in the life of this young pastor which shook him internally, as that man spoke his heart...

"Brothers, I need your help", that pastor said, looking anxious. "I've been indulging myself with internet pornography in the past several months, and I think I'm getting deeper and deeper into it. It's almost uncontrollable. Please... help me..."

What was most shocking was that nobody in the room looked shocked. Nobody looked confused. Nobody looked angry. Nobody looked unsure. He could almost swear they all looked... loving?

From that point onwards, everything else in that entire meeting was focused on the need of this one man. They collectively released messages of grace upon him. Within that group itself, there and then, they began establishing relational infrastructures for this pastor to sustain accountable relationships to people who could help him find restoration. And he gladly received what they offered, for he sat among friends who loved and accepted him.

"John", the senior pastor said to him, "we're grateful at your openness and trust in us to share in your journey and struggle. We love you. And we want you to know that your struggle doesn't make you any less a minister than any of us, for no one here is less a fallen person than you feel you are. We will take care of you, brother." Lots of hugs and tears were exchanged that evening.

This young pastor who had visited the Pastors' Fellowship left the gathering with much to think about. He realised something very fundamental to his ministerial life - he had never felt safe before. Not among his church members, and certainly never around other pastors. But tonight, he realised that what he needed most was a safe community among his fellow pastors. And that his role as a fellow pilgrim in the life of his faith community was to provide a safe environment of love, acceptance and restoration to those who desired to follow Jesus.

It's not a safe world. And unfortunately, it's not a safe church. Yet.

Posted by SK at 05:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I know there isn't supposed to be another entry after my previous one, as my blog is supposed to have been wrapped up for the year. Well, I lied. There's a fresh issue to talk about, that's why.

In the past couple of days, something happened which I'm not at liberty to talk about in detail (naturally, because everybody knows who this blog belongs to). But what happened has had a grave impact on me because I felt a great sense of injustice at being treated with a rather big measure of unkindness and disregard. What began as an unintentional disregard gradually became intentional unkindness just to "save one's face".

This hurts because I'm a normal human being with an ego the size of a planet and the fragility of a bubble. When people kick you around at their whims, that's not being treated with the dignity of a human being; it's being treated like a flower pot. When people treat you with less dignity than any human being deserves, in the name of institutional policy, that's inhumane.

Inasmuch as such things shouldn't matter because people aren't perfect and people do hurt us unintentionally, it matters and it hurts. Inasmuch as I shouldn't feel unjustified, I feel unjustified. It's like being told in the face, "You . don't . matter". I feel like a non-entity, like my personhood is compromised. I feel bullied.

But nobody is going to address such injustice, because the people who treat others this way usually sit in positions of power. They're almost untouchable. Nobody can confront them when they're rude or unkind or inconsiderate. Besides, for them, everything is seen dispassionately - "It's nothing personal, it's just an issue of practicality". It means nothing that someone got hurt in the process; it's the practical considerations that matter. Sigh.

So what did I do? I spent an hour scrubbing my toilet. Just to have time to think this issue through. In the face of injustice (whether it's real or perceived), I think it's always good to do things that bring us back to the fundamentals of life. Somehow, as I laboured manually, I came to a deeper realisation of what the Kingdom is about...

It's easy to be humble when you're treated with much respect and dignity. But when you're treated like a toilet-scrubber, scrubbing the toilet becomes a difficult chore because nobody's going to honour you for it.

In the same way, it's easy for me to pretend to be a flower pot when everyone else is treating me like a great man. But when I'm really being treated like a flower pot, behaving like a flower pot isn't so easy anymore. Because then, it makes me a valueless object of humiliation.

People who treat others like flower pots lack humility, and many of them would refuse to acknowledge wrongs they've done to their neighbour. I can choose to follow their footsteps, or I can choose to follow the way of Christ, who would turn his other cheek. It hurts so bad. But I think I want to follow Christ. So I'll just have to be a flower pot for the Kingdom.

Posted by SK at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

A lot has taken place this year, and I'm just about ready to call it a year - as soon as I finish this entry, actually. The reason is, I'm leaving for Myanmar within the next several days, where I'll be almost entirely cut off from communication with the rest of the world. Yes, no internet access, basically. I'll be back only in January.

So whilst the year hasn't quite come to an end yet, my time on this blog is up for the year. This is my last post for 2006, and the first entry for 2007 will be posted up after 02 January. I don't mean for this to be a long post.

In brief, the following are some highlights for me this year:

• Began lecturing Christian Theology in Seminari Theoloji Malaysia
  
• Survived the year-long torment by an unjust and abusive leadership of a Christian organisation
  
• Established many new relationships; probably more than I've ever done in the past three years put together
  
• Became a new member of a faith community in Seremban
  
• Met my wife-to-be for the first time (March), duringwhich I didn't know she was my wife-to-be
  
• Visited the Philippines (May), and will be visiting Myanmar (this month)
  
• Turned down, perhaps regretfully, requests to visit Brazil (February) and India (October)
  
• Bought a new car (July)
  

If all goes well, my focus for the next year will be as follows:

• To complete my doctoral thesis
  
• To persist in my vocation as a minister of the organic missional church and a seminary lecturer
  
• To have my engagement at the beginning of the year and wedding at the end of the year
  
• To cultivate a married life that is kingdomic and missional
  
• To cultivate my faith and life within an organic missional community
  

In living out my life, I embrace the Kierkegaardian adage that "life is to be understood backward and lived forward". We're essentially living out a story in our lives. For me, it's a story of brokenness that was met with the restorative and creative power of the living God. For all it's worth, I do consider myself crucified with Christ, and yet I live; it is not I but Christ who lives within me.

And so, for how I've lived my life this year and how I hope to live my life next year, I offer this one simple life to the glory of his majesty, who taught me to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed by your name,
Your kingdom come, your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Leads us not into temptation
but deliver us from the evil one

For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours
now and forever. Amen.

Until next year, my friends... the peace of the Lord be with you.

Posted by SK at 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

In the past week, I've been spending some time on the mountain, going into the aboriginal villages with a brother who works among them. Just to learn more about their lives and to observe how their indigenous pastors are functioning in their communities. Such trips always have a strange effect on me; it's usually not so much about the impact I create in those places, but rather, the impact they create on me.

I can't stop thinking about the 3 year-old blind boy who shouted with so much glee when we sang "God is So Good" because he knew that song in his language. And when we asked him if he thought God was good, he answered so affirmatively, "Tuhan baik!" I have my eyesight, and yet I've often failed to be so affirmative about God's goodness. I have much to learn about simplicity. In many ways, I trust God; but that little boy entrusts himself to God in such a real way that challenges me at the very core of my understanding of life and faith. God help me.

Increasingly, I'm also beginning to see that the seminary model we're providing doesn't cater very well for the formation of their indigenous pastors. Beyond learning theology as an intellectual exercise, they need to learn how to construct toilets, dig graves, make coffins, medicate the sick, and such - and they don't seem to be able to learn these things from the seminary. Also, much of our philosophical articulations of theology are very alien to them, as they come from cultures that thrive on oral tradition and storytelling. I hope, in the near future, to be able to work together with my friend there in his effort to establish a small training school for their indigenous pastors.

I'm still thinking through some pertinent issues regarding this possibility. There seems to be a growing conviction in me that something like this should be run by an indigenous person, not someone like me. So I'm thinking of how I can best take on a facilitating role to raise someone up from within that tribe, who has been through sufficient theological education, to run a school like that. We need to let the gospel take root within its cultural context. This is probably something urban Christians need to take seriously in our mission endeavours, lest we approach other societies with unnecessary cultural impositions.

And all these thoughts have been brewing within me just because I met a new friend, a 3-year old boy who's blind, and who taught me that God is good. I want to do something for his people because he has done so much for me.

Posted by SK at 12:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

b. For the Christian Believer

Despite the incapacity of the institutional church to align its priorities in accordance with the Kingdomic vision, no follower of Christ is excused from a fierce and unyielding commitment to the church institution. Despite the failure of the institutional church and its inconsistency with the Kingdomic vision, the faith of a Christian believer who seeks to exist apart from the institution must be seriously questioned. This understanding is found in the argument that the institutional church consists of people gathered by God from the world. And it is very likely true that the organic missional Christian is gathered by God from the institutional church. Whilst the individual’s deepest motivations may strongly and strangely differ from that of the institutional church, the fierce commitment to the institution guards his motivations and keeps them aligned to a cause beyond his self-interest.

Many individual Christians who have stood at odds with the institutional church have resorted to finding alternative paths among parachurch ministries and mission agencies. Such an alternative is not legitimate, for one needs to understand that these organisations themselves too are often self-motivated and constitute the institutional church in no less measure than the local assembly. Further to that, it does not do service to the cause of the Kingdom when many such parachurch institutions seek to perpetuate their existence by seeking resources in various forms from disgruntled Christian individuals. Many of them do not even deem it necessary that the parachurch institution walk in partnership with local churches; they often solicit help from individual Christians without the express blessing of local faith communities. This is extremely telling of a weak ecclesiology on the part of such parachurch agencies, and it betrays the very institutional deficiency they often attribute to the local church institutions. This is of course not to say that parachurch agencies are redundant. The issue in question is whether parachurch agencies are the natural solution to the institutional crisis of the church – a firm ecclesiological approach refutes this possibility. The discerning believer is called into the local assembly, the institutional church, and to live out the higher way of the organic missional life. This means that he finds himself consistently stuck in the tension between institutional demands and Kingdomic commands. To seek creative solutions in the form of attachments to parachurch agencies at the expense of the local church institution is ecclesiologically defiant. In this light, parachurch ministries too need to examine their own ecclesiological motivations and positions.

Note: This entry marks the end of this lengthy treatise on Organic Missional Ecclesiology. I hope you have found it helpful in addressing some concerns you may have had in relation to your relationship with your institutional local church or denomination.

Posted by SK at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

IV. The Praxis of Organic Missional Life

a. For the Ministerial Vocation

A minister of the gospel who desires to truly embrace the vision of the Kingdom and to embody it without compromise will inevitably find himself at odds with the institutional church. His predicament arises from the reality that he is actually gainfully employed by the institutional church, this being a vocation which entails the rendering of his authority, recognition, titles, and status within the organisational hierarchies. To continually stand at odds with the institutional church for the sake of the Kingdom is also to put all these privileges at stake. And yet, he struggles with the reality that his deepest motivations are inclined to those of the Kingdom, which is the primary and ultimate purpose of the organic missional church. In situations like this, the minister finds himself having to choose. And choose he has to. The calling of Christ to follow him is not something that entails the possibility of compromise, for we either accord everything or nothing to him.

Then there is another dimension of the minister’s affiliation with the faith community which compounds the complications he faces – despite his unyielding commitment to the organic missional life of the church, this ecclesiology does not permit him to dismiss the institution and to work apart from it. It is the institutional church as the visible assembly of believers that affirms his vocation in the ministry, and he is obligated to uphold this appointed vocation always in the best interest of the church’s wellbeing. However, this “wellbeing” is to be defined in accordance with Kingdomic values, and not institutional values. When called for, the minister is obligated to ignore the gravity of his position and his security and to act in accordance with the Kingdom, for it is in acting in accordance with the Kingdom that he functions for the wellbeing of the institutional church (which admittedly, would construe otherwise). He must be willing to lose it all; yes, everything.

The minister is to be the sacramental presence of Christ unto his people. He is called to be the real model of Kingdom life for all people, within and without the institutional church. He must never compromise this role even if it is upheld at the expense of his standing with the institution. He must find a place of peace within him to exist in this state of tension between serving the organic missional purpose of the Kingdom and surviving the temporal demands of the institutional church. He must always seek to be a visible embodiment of the Kingdomic life rather than merely to do the “work of the Kingdom”. And even at times when the institutional church seems to have compromised his wellbeing, he must love the church unceasingly and fervently seek to offer himself to the Body in accordance with the vision of the Kingdom.

Posted by SK at 11:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

III. The Unity of the Church

In relation to this dynamics also is the pertinent issue of unity in the church. It must be noted that the issue of unity is not to be construed as the division between the institutional church and the organic missional church, but rather, unity among various institutional churches. The organic missional church is not divided; it does not have to be. The unity of the church is a major concern of the institutional church, not the organic missional church. This is because the fractured fellowship of the Body arose from the institutional history, and it is for the institutional leaders to negotiate a restoration of institutional unity. As far as the organic missional church is concerned, there never was a fracture in the unity of the church – it exists in harmony with the various components and streams of the Great Christian Tradition, for it looks beyond itself.

This is so because the theological concerns of the organic missional church are rather different from those of the institution. If theology in the institutional church impacts the constitution of the organisation, theology in the organic missional church animates its behaviour patterns and lifestyle. Hence, the organic missional church is most concern for unity not so much in the traditions and expressions of institutional churchlife, but rather, in Kingdomic values. It does not establish institutional boundaries and is not interested in organisational reputation or credit. It finds a deep and authentic sense of oneness with all who embrace the call to walk towards the Kingdom. Its disputes are not so much centred on, say, the speaking of other tongues or the acceptable forms of corporate worship as they are about practically caring for the needs of the poor, the hungry and the marginalised. In other words, it is the organic missional church which possesses the capacity to exercise charitable theological positions. It is the institutional church that is disunited, for there, we find elements of control, power, and authority to be pertinent issues. For the organic missional church, these are irrelevant, for authentic Kingdom living is to be found in the laying down of one’s life and all that one holds dear for the cause of the Kingdom.

When Jesus prayed “that they may be one”, he was referring to his Body in the true sense of the word. He was referring to the organic missional people whose concerns pertain to that which he had spoken of more than seventy times in the Gospels – the Kingdom of God. It probably does not bother God that the institutional church exists in a fragmented state, for this is a partial given in institutional life wherein control and power constitute consequential issues.

At this point of time in history, the search for unity within the church is an active search undertaken by the institutional church. As far as the organic missional church is concerned, there is no fracture. Instead, there is a sense of charitable unity among all who capture the heart of the gospel story and who desire to learn what it means to lay down their lives to follow Jesus.

Posted by SK at 11:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The organic missional Christian must remain fiercely committed to the institutional church but not to its priorities. In his sovereignty, God has instituted both the organic missional church and the institutional church such that the former arises from within the latter. Whilst the institutional church often seems to be working against – or at best, constituting a hindrance to – the cause of the Kingdom, it is from within this realm that organic missional Christians emerge. Undoubtedly, when such Christians emerge, they become a “thorn in the flesh”, a source of disturbance, for the church institution. Their abiding presence remains as a stark reminder to the institutional church that there is a higher way of life, a higher calling to discipleship, even if many from the institutional church choose to ignore their presence. There is an apostolic role associated with the organic missional church in that it is there within the institutional church to impose a cleansing effect upon the institution, thereby drawing the larger Body closer to the vision of the Kingdom. For whilst there are those within the organic missional church who have willingly laid themselves down for the purpose of the Kingdom, there are others within the institutional church who need enforcements of Kingdomic challenge in order that they may not slip into positions of spiritual complacency.

Besides that, the institutional church is also charged with the task of guarding the orthodoxy of the organic missional church’s theology. When the organic missional Christians attempt to dispense all together with the institution instead of living within the existing tension, their ecclesiology must be held suspect. For in all history, it was the institutional church that has been the articulator of theology in its orthodoxy. From the time of the early church, the various ecumenical councils that met to resolve issues of doctrinal conflict represented the institutional Body of the Lord. This crucial role in guarding the theological orthodoxy of the church must not be viewed with disdain, for it is beyond the scope of the organic missional church. The task of the organic missional church is to fulfil these articulations of theology in praxis, and to provide challenge for the further crytalisation of these theologies. It must be obvious by now that even if the institutional church and the organic missional church cannot relationally co-exist in harmony, they must co-exist harmoniously in terms of their functional ontology. For one to exist in ignorance of the other is to render a significant fracture in the economy of the Kingdom.

The institutional church exists because human assemblies require structures within themselves in order to function. However, establishing structures in such a manner poses the grave possibility of compromising the often unshaped and unformed Kingdomic life found within the Christian story. And yet, the church – being the assembly of saints, human saints – cannot possibly exist without such structures, simply by virtue of its members being human. But from within these assemblies, there can emerge clusters of saints who are less concerned about structural issues and remain more fixated on the issues of the Kingdom. And their concerns cannot bear fruit if the institutional church does not persist in the working out of its temporal concerns. As it were, the institutional church needs to establish and preserve order so that the organic missional church can create chaos within the said order. The concerns of the latter give meaning to the former, whilst the concern of the former set the stage for the outworking of the latter. The existence of both is necessary.

Posted by SK at 06:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

II. The Dynamics of the Two “Kingdoms”

If the primary concerns of the institutional church are not truly Kingdomic in nature, why would God allow for its seemingly necessary existence? God preserves the existence of the institutional church for the sake of the organic missional church. The two dimensions of the church exist in a symbiotic relationship with each other. The institution is like the cup which gives form to water (i.e., the organic missional church). Although it is the organic missional community that animates the true Body of Christ, it is the institutional church that gives this Body its visibility and form. The institutional church proclaims the word of God and administers the sacraments as God’s means of grace, whilst the organic missional church is preoccupied with being the visible animation of the word and the living incarnation of the sacraments in the world. The institutional church dispenses God’s grace within the confines of buildings, but the organic church is God’s incarnation of grace in the space of creation. The institutional church represents symbolically to the world what the organic missional church is in the world. Whilst the institutional church is fixated upon its internal dealings and keeping the “house” in order, the organic missional church is the church in the world.

This is not to say that the organic missional church exists for the sake of the world. Traditional ecclesiology emphatically affirms that the world exists for the purpose of the church. In fact, God created the world that the church may be formed from within it. In the history of the church, God has gathered people unto himself and called them his “church”; how this is so remains a mystery, just as calling, election, and salvation are eternal mysteries which can be understood only as intellectual human conjectures. But in the same way, one can infer that the institutional church exists for the purpose of the organic church, for it is within the institutional church that Christians have historically come to capture a higher vision of the Kingdom and formed organic missional communities within the church institution. God seems to have formed the institutional church that the organic missional church may be formed from within it. From within the institutional church, people have captured the higher vision of the Kingdom. Hence, could it be that the institutional church is God’s ordained means of forming and growing the organic missional church? Could the institutional church be God’s established incubatory for the organic missional church? Of course, one may ask then if the people from the institutional church are “saved” – answers to questions like this are the divine prerogative of God and one must never assume a position to affirm or reject the status of institutional Christians within the scheme of the Kingdom.

Posted by SK at 09:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)