While driving yesterday, I caught sight of a rainbow before me. It was quite a distance away, and rather faint. Nevertheless, it was a rainbow.

There's a Christian cliché that says the rainbow is a sign of a promise, because that's what God gave to Noah in symbolic token of a promise. So in good popular Christian fashion, without wanting to think too much about being true to any exegetical crap, I took the rainbow as a sign of a promise. (Yeah, once in the way, I do allow myself to be a sucker for such things.)

It's only really because despite the disillusionment I'm facing at the moment, and despite my having lost faith in many things/people, I believe in the Almighty God, the heavenly Father from whose eyes nothing can escape. And I believe that all of nature points to something of him, in both a personal and a general way.

The rainbow was given to all its spectators. And to me. It is the sign of a promise. Not a promise that all will be well in life, but rather, that all will be well with my soul. Through persecution, insults, and false accusations... all will be well with my soul.

There are many things in life one cannot try too hard to make sense of. The more one tries to find sense in the non-sensical realities of life, the more one gets bewildered and baffled. At a point of helplessness, one must truly, truly look at the rainbow painted before him - that he may know that all will be well with his soul.

Posted by SK at 5:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Have you ever realised that you've just wronged somebody, and then gone back to the person to offer a sincere apology? Have you ever gone back to a person to offer a sincere apology, only to receive an earful of lectures from the person you're saying sorry to just before he says, "Anyway, apology accepted"?

There are different ways of accepting an apology and forgiving someone. One really good way is to get back at the person who's apologising before forgiving him. Because he wronged you or made you feel put down, so since he is now putting himself at a disadvantage by coming to you in humility, you take the opportunity to give him a piece of your mind. Yeah, give him a taste of his own medicine, THEN say, "Anyway, apology accepted" or "I forgive you".

But in so doing, you've robbed yourself of the true virtue of forgiving. Because you didn't really forgive. You just got back at the person and feel satisfied that you've done so. And because your grievance has been redressed, you're able to say "Anyway, apology accepted". With such an attitude, even the mentioning of those words itself is nothing short of putting the "apologiser" down.

To forgive is difficult. Because true forgiveness takes place only when the forgiver puts himself at the same level as the person he's forgiving. True forgiveness means dignifying the one who has wronged you and intentionally or unintentionally robbed you of your dignity; otherwise you're no better than he is.

Jesus truly forgave the ones who crucified him, because he whispered his forgiveness upon his persecutors without them even realising they had been forgiven by him. Besides, they weren't even sorry. But he forgave them.

It's difficult to forgive. Because it's a very humble thing to do. Those who think the position to forgive is a lofty one don't understand the true spirit of forgiveness. We often forget that forgiving is a privilege, only because we've been forgiven ourselves. That's why our words "I forgive you" sometimes make people walk away feeling more condemned than liberated, more objectified than dignified.

True forgiveness, human to human, can only be offered from one who has himself received forgiveness to another who now needs to receive it.

Posted by SK at 12:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

One thing that never fails to emerge before my eyes each time I face a crisis point in my life is self-righteousness. People who seemed very pious, all-religious, overwhelmingly biblical beyond that which I can ever be, turning into self-righteous bitching pharisaical... Christians.

If you want to know what's at the heart of seemingly religious Christians, place before them a sinner or an accused, and then watch how they react. Their reactions will reveal the true state of their spirituality from the deepest recesses of their hearts; whether they pick up a stone, or whether they embrace the sinner/accused.

To the self-righteous...

Posted by SK at 12:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The motivations of the heart mean everything.

One can perform an absolutely righteous act, but with a self-congratulatory and self-righteous spirit, and yet remain condemned as having fallen short of the standard.

Another can have made mistakes, and yet know he has tried his best to do that which was right, and who says "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner", and find himself absolved, cherished, accepted, acknowledged.

In trying times, it's more than just about survival or doing something just because we have to. It's equally about the motivations of the heart.

Many have sought justice as an excuse for vengeance. Let that not be me, Lord.

May I seek justice that represents who you are, and not justice that represents the vengeful human spirit. That my hands may be clean and my heart may be pure.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner.

Posted by SK at 3:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Feeding sharks is risky business.

Nobody has ever told me that before. I've had to learn the lesson by experiencing the reality that this is an imperfect world in which sharks sometimes survive by biting off the hands that feed them.

I'm far from being an expert. I don't claim to be an expert in shark-feeding; and that is precisely why I've risked losing my hands to sharks more than once throughout my lifetime. In fact, I'm rather foolish, because I tend to risk the same thing over and over again; trying to be kind, foolishly kind.

When feeding, I suppose it's most important to first identify the animal you're feeding, and then to understand the best way to feed it. To satisfy its hunger... but without having to risk losing your hand. To not assume that just because you've fed a shark before, you can pat it on its head.

The foolish, like me, learn it the hard way. But such hard knocks are important, I suppose, for those who desire to live in integrity to the way of the shark-feeder who lost more than just his hand, but his entire life, to the sharks he fed.

That foolish man.

Posted by SK at 4:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Some seasons in life change unannounced.

Ideals crumble.

Dreams dissipate.

We were never promised otherwise anyway.

But life goes on. It must. To think of leaving it all and losing your life is an easy way out.

To live - that’s difficult. To once again fill your life with the sense of meaning you once lost, and to cherish that meaning - that’s difficult.

It takes a strong heart. An unrelenting spirit.

Posted by SK at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

It is often said that we cannot impose our convictions on other people. In respect for human dignity, we must permit each human person to make for himself the choices he desires for his life. How true.

But the problem does not just end here. The very notion of “conviction” itself poses a yet deeper problem, for each individual defines “conviction” differently.

For some, conviction is a rational acceptance of what makes sense, of what is right or wrong, of what is desirable. For others, conviction is about how certain decisions make them feel about themselves, their lives and about the world.

So yes, one’s convictions should not be imposed on others. But what is a "conviction"? And what's in it?

Posted by SK at 11:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)