Have you ever realised that you've just wronged somebody, and then gone back to the person to offer a sincere apology? Have you ever gone back to a person to offer a sincere apology, only to receive an earful of lectures from the person you're saying sorry to just before he says, "Anyway, apology accepted"?

There are different ways of accepting an apology and forgiving someone. One really good way is to get back at the person who's apologising before forgiving him. Because he wronged you or made you feel put down, so since he is now putting himself at a disadvantage by coming to you in humility, you take the opportunity to give him a piece of your mind. Yeah, give him a taste of his own medicine, THEN say, "Anyway, apology accepted" or "I forgive you".

But in so doing, you've robbed yourself of the true virtue of forgiving. Because you didn't really forgive. You just got back at the person and feel satisfied that you've done so. And because your grievance has been redressed, you're able to say "Anyway, apology accepted". With such an attitude, even the mentioning of those words itself is nothing short of putting the "apologiser" down.

To forgive is difficult. Because true forgiveness takes place only when the forgiver puts himself at the same level as the person he's forgiving. True forgiveness means dignifying the one who has wronged you and intentionally or unintentionally robbed you of your dignity; otherwise you're no better than he is.

Jesus truly forgave the ones who crucified him, because he whispered his forgiveness upon his persecutors without them even realising they had been forgiven by him. Besides, they weren't even sorry. But he forgave them.

It's difficult to forgive. Because it's a very humble thing to do. Those who think the position to forgive is a lofty one don't understand the true spirit of forgiveness. We often forget that forgiving is a privilege, only because we've been forgiven ourselves. That's why our words "I forgive you" sometimes make people walk away feeling more condemned than liberated, more objectified than dignified.

True forgiveness, human to human, can only be offered from one who has himself received forgiveness to another who now needs to receive it.