Ah Beng bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his phone book and said, "My mobile number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610".
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AH BENG: I am proud, cos my son is in medical college.
FRIEND: Really, what is he studying?
AH BENG: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
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AH BENG: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take this tablet, you will be okay.
AH BENG: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.
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AH BENG: If I die, will u remarry?
WIFE: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
AH BENG: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
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AH BENG: People consider me a "GOD".
WIFE: How do you know??
AH BENG: When I went to the park today, everybody said, "Oh GOD! You have come again!"
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Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house".
POLICE: How is it that the thief did not take the TV?
AH BENG: I was watching TV news.
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Ah Beng comes back to his car and finds a note saying "Parking Fine".
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for compliment".
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How do you recognise Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
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Once Ah Beng was walking with a glove on one hand and not on other. So a man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
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Ah Beng is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
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AH BENG: Why are all these people running?
MAN: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
AH BENG: If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?
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TEACHER: "I killed a person" - convert this sentence into future tense.
AH BENG: The future tense is "You will go to jail".
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Ah Beng told his servant, "Go and water the plants!" The servant replied, "It's already raining". Ah Beng said, "So what? Take an umbrella and go".
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A man asked Ah Beng why Abdullah Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied, "Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM".