I'm afraid, if I don't begin authoring my concluding blog post for this year now itself, that it will never come to pass. When 1 January 2010 begins, so does my frantic travel schedule for the month and for the rest of the year. So these final few days leading up to the New Year's Day of 2010 need to be spent in preparation for what is to come. Hence, with the little luxury of tranquility I have on my hands now, I will reflect on what has been in order that I may be better made ready for what will be.

This year, 2009, has been one of the most pleasant of my past three years. Not that there was much fun or partying in it. In fact, many moments occurred throughout the year when I was forced to spend lots of solitary time in attempting to make sense of what was happening in my life and the lives of those closest to me. But by and large, the year was rather smooth sailing compared to some of the recent years past.

Of course, this doesn't mean that there weren't certain dramatic "points of impact" throughout the year. If there is one main thing that characterises my life, it is not mundaneness. Now, if I had to be selective about naming the most impactful events in my life this year, I would say that there were three.

First, there was the sudden passing away of a very dear friend and mentor who had helped me along through life in the past decade, from the time I began my seminary formation all the way to the time just before he had passed away.

Mr Anthony Yeo, being both my personal counsellor and my seminary lecturer, had strengthened me to go through all the storms that had struck me and prepared me for the many impending storms I was going to have to brave through. Even now, in the face of what often seem to be complications, I still ask myself the very question he used to ask me, "What is the worst that can happen?" And my soul is still.

Just as the storms were about to cease and my life was about to drift into one of its calmest seasons, he passed away. I miss him. But his time in my life, and on this earth, was up. Truth be told, he was too good a man to be left here for too long. I am glad for him, and I am sad. I still pray for him and frequently ask that he be praying for me.

Second, there was the occasion of my permanent profession into the Secular Franciscan Order (SFO). Not many people know about the SFO. It is a secular institute in which men and women, laity and diocesan clergy, make a life commitment to live the Evangelical Counsels by "going from gospel to life and life to the gospel". The SFO was started by St Francis of Assisi himself some 800 years ago and continues to exist today as an Order recognised by the Holy See and having its own Rule and Constitutions. I love this order for its ordinariness and simplicity, for its inability to boast about anything.

As an Anglican seminarian, I was quite well formed in Franciscan spirituality by a very elderly Anglican priest (who has since passed on). We used to have long conversations about Franciscan spirituality and how life would be like as a Franciscan Tertiary (the Anglican equivalent of the Secular Franciscans). But for providential reasons, I never made a profession as a Franciscan Tertiary. It was only upon my reception into the Holy Catholic Church that I actively pursued the intention to become a Secular Franciscan.

What was so impactful about this occasion of my permanent profession into the SFO? I supposed it's that we seldom make life commitments, and when one does make such a commitment, it's a big thing. For me, being a Secular Franciscan is truly about a commitment towards simplicity - having simple people as my brothers and sisters in the Lord, people who might otherwise not have been considered by the rest of society as being significant in any way. But the more I know them, the more I know Jesus loves them.

Third, there was the relocation (yet again!) of my family from Seremban back to Johor Bahru, 300 kilometres down south. The reason for this relocation was my appointment by His Lordship, the Bishop of Melaka-Johor, as Director of the Melaka-Johor Diocesan Pastoral Institute and candidate for permanent diaconal ordination.

Since I officially commenced duty on 1 August 2009, I moved down first to Johor Bahru, leaving my family in Seremban for several months. But just before this past Christmas, the entire family (father, mother, wife, two dogs) moved down to Johor Bahru. We have now settled comfortably into our old house which has been repainted and slightly refurnished.

So I would say these are the three major events that have taken place over this past year. They're not the only important events, I assure you. A good many other crucial and impactful events took place. But I would think that these three events are guaranteed to have an almost permanent effect on my present life as I know it.

What am I expecting to happen in the coming year? Some really big things. Yes. But I'm not living my life each day waiting for those big things to happen. When the time is ripe for that which has been ordained to take place, that which is necessary will come to pass.

For me, my daily struggle and constant cry is that of faithfulness, even in the small and insignificant things of life. I just want to be a faithful son to my parents, a faithful brother to my sister, a faithful husband to my wife, a faithful child of God and His Church, a faithful friend to my acquaintances, and a faithful master to my dogs. If I can be that for those around me, I think God would be rather pleased.

So I'm intentionally fixing my heart on the little vitalities of life amidst the big bangs that take place. For someone who thinks in big pictures and acts at macro levels, it is not easy. But this is precisely why it is so important for me.

For all that has been, for all that will be, I make the words of this song my own:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

I wish you a Blessed New Year, my dear friend.