You know how people often say, "Don't sweat the small stuff". It's really something easier said than done for many people. A vast many people have such low self-esteem and such little faith in their own capabilities that they need an infinite trail of affirmations from others, like the world owes them a series of fortunate events.

When they feel left out or slighted, they make a big deal of it. Because it is wrong that someone has caused them to feel insignificant. So they create a ruckus to remind the world that they're there and should not be dismissed. Such people haven't grown up. Adults they may be, but grown ups they certainly are not. Because the heart is still small and self-confidence is too frail.

The working culture of such people is best characterised by the motto "What about me?" It inadvertently always boils down to the issue of being made to feel significant, as significant as everyone else. After all, everybody needs to feel important; especially the insecure ones.

But really, don't sweat the small stuff. We should be big-hearted enough to overlook things which don't actually matter. Grown-ups trying to work together but ending up bickering over issues of self-significance is quite a disgraceful sight. So in some such things, rather than to take someone to task for having "bypassed" you, be gracious and let things be.

Just because someone bypassed you doesn't mean you're unimportant or insignificant. It just means someone either forgot, or was insensitive, or wasn't patient enough to go through lengthy political procedures. A healthy ego would have been able to live with that.

So here we are, faced with a choice to grow up or to remain little kids. Have you observed how groups of little kids play and sometimes marginalise one or two individuals in their groups? Yep, adults do that too. And the marginalised little kids pout and cry - and yes, adults do that too!

So if you often feel left out or bypassed, in church or at your workplace, deal with it like a grown up. Instead of saying "What about me?", say nothing, and just walk on with a sense of dignity. The fact that somebody has bypassed you says nothing about you. Don't sweat it.