I have no idea who this story originated from, but it's certainly a story I'll be remembering for a long time.

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine.. Gittin' stronger alla' time…'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' th em peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis.. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about colour or size....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ..'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

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Next Sunday will mark the first day of the new liturgical year, beginning with the season of Advent leading to Christmas and beyond.

I'm excited at the things that will be taking place next year, particularly the Easter Vigil when my wife and parents will be received into full communion with the Catholic Church. But for now, let's leave the future to the future.

Yesterday was the Solemnity of Christ the King, which marked the last day of the liturgical calendar of the Church. In a sense, for some of us, Christ is already truly King. But in another sense, that lordship is yet to be realised in its fullest sense.

In commemorating the solemnity of Christ the King, the Church looks forward to more than a mere political reign of Christ over the universe. We look forward to the establishment of ultimate justice, the pervasion of eternal peace in the world. And that is why we look forward to the coming of the King.

We seek the coming of the day when all creation will be renewed, recreated, revitalised, rebeautified, all this to become a new heaven and a new earth.

This solemnity provokes us to reflect on how the world invariably falls short of justice and equality, of how people are still so polarised by their differences in race, religion, sex, education, and social class regardless of how the human race claims to be more progressive than ever before. It is the day when we are reminded of how the Church longs for the coming of the day of the Lord, when all such discrimination and bias will dissipate from the face of the earth.

Peace. Authentic peace and harmony between humanity and God, among humanity, and between humanity and all creation - this is what we long for. And inasmuch as the world has tried to bring about the realisation of these hopes in various ways, our efforts often end up leading to more varied forms of polarities.

Because peace and harmony are truly possible only when Christ is King.

A Blessed Regnum Christi to all of you. I hope it has been a fruitful year for you. May we continue to look to Mary our Mother and the angels and saints for their constant prayers for us pilgrims in our journey towards the day when Christ will truly be King in the most visible way possible.

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Many centuries ago, in fact from the second century itself, the lay faithful of the Church began to cluster themselves into exclusive communities to embrace lives of chastity, poverty, and obedience as the Christian faith suffered from intensifying decadence.

These associations evolved into what eventually came to be known as “religious communities” - monks, friars, nuns, etc. Their presence was meant to be a sacramental to other lay faithful in order that those others might be inspired to also model their lives after Jesus in embracing the values of chastity, poverty, and obedience for the Kingdom of God.

And this beautiful plan of God for the restoration of the Christian faith in a decaying world has worked wonderfully.

In these past two weeks, throughout my time in the Philippines, I’ve been in touch with communities of lay people who have embraced these values of chastity, poverty and obedience in fulfilment of God’s mission in the world. Living together in intimate missional communities, they had left their homes, careers, wealth, and families behind, abandoned lives of comfort, and come to live in the midst of the poor and the hungry.

They are neither priests nor religious communities in the traditional sense of the term. They are communities of the lay faithful, like most of you, like me. They are people who have left behind the false securities offered by the world and answered the call of God to devote themselves by participating in the mission Dei despite being at different states of life. They live by faith - not even on promises of regular financial support from friends as is often found among Protestant missionaries - but by faith alone.

At some point of my faith journey, I had come to believe that such a dream was impossible. Now, I see that hundreds (and in time to come, thousands) of lay faithful are already embodying such a life. It’s unbelievable and amazing. But possible.

And where other ecclesial communities fail to recognise these who aspire to live such sanctified lives, Mother Church embraces them and calls them "associations of the lay faithful".

Like others who thought such faith was impossible, I was wrong.

It’s often easier to believe that such things are impossible just so we wouldn’t have to be confronted with the call to embrace what such a life entails.

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Sure, we live in a world that needs grace, a world that needs to understand and experience forgiveness.

But sometimes we forgive ourselves too easily. We allow ourselves to lax into a state of indiscipline in our spirituality and an inconsideration for the wellbeing of our neighbour, simply because we don’t feel like we are in the right form on a particular day or during a particular season.

And then we very conveniently dispense forgiveness to ourselves, thinking that it is all right to be like that every now and then, and that God understands. We think that after all, we’ve already grown so much and done so much of this and that for God and for others, what’s wrong with failing sometimes.

The reality of falling once in a while is true and understandable. We are human after all. But the attitude with which we treat ourselves after having fallen is undesirable if we do not resolve to learn from each failure, to be better and to be more consistently loving.

Cheap grace is demeaning to the cause of the Kingdom. It’s not so much an issue of perfection as it is an issue of the habit of the heart.

Lord, have mercy on me. On us.

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Sometimes our confessions regarding our life commitments towards the Kingdom are over-stated. We pledge to empty ourselves of everything that hinders our participation in this dream… only to later realise that we have no capacity, or actual desire, to do so.

Not every heart is fertile ground for the seed of the Kingdom to grow, bloom and flourish. But of course, every person would love to think that his heart is fertile. Unfortunately, for many, it’s little more than an illusive state of self-understanding.

Many a human person has suffered too much of life’s damaging contaminative elements, too defected to possess the capacity to live up to their express commitments. Even those that haven’t don’t seem to have been spared the original state of fallenness spoken of by the Western Fathers.

Ultimately, it’s the man who beats himself on his chest upon looking at God, and who says, “Lord, forgive me, an unworthy man”, who catches a glimpse of the Kingdom. In his realisation of his unworthiness, he enters into the realm of divine favour. But unfortunately, depravity has a way of deception that drives many into the self-illusory notion that they are free from its clutches.

The hearts of these are infertile. The agricultural farmers call it “bad soil” that kills every seed which falls upon it. The information technologists call it the “corrupted and crashed” harddisk of the soul that cannot contain and preserve any form of precious data. In these hearts, only the mysterious work of the Spirit can accomplish a stunning miraculous transformation.

Until then, Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

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The Kingdom of God is like a crowd and a panel of judges with sneering faces - when they’re faced with a humble, unassuming, quiet man lacking in confidence wanting to sing opera - becoming suddenly stunned and convicted of the wrongness of their pre-judgements when that unimpressive plain commoner starts singing and his voice begins to shine like a thousand stars in the skies; and suddenly that man is known by his name, just the way he’s always needed to be known.

Paul Potts in the Audition, the Semi-Finals, and then the Finals

The Kingdom of God is like a fragile little girl who, with her voice, captivates the heart of her listeners and draws them into her song without even trying. The Kingdom of Heaven is like a crowd who legitimises the place of a little girl and recognises her equal personhood in the scheme of an adult world. “Let the little children come to me, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.”

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This is a dispatch from the Junior apprentice. And the following is a reply:

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

My heart is filled with overwhelming gladness when I hear of your desire to participate in the dance of life through a recovery of the rhythm of the Master. It must be an even deeper joy for our Master, who truly and deeply feels for you.

Have I told you, that the “rhythm” that we frequently speak about is actually his heartbeat? Our dancing to his rhythm goes deeper than a mere emulation of his actions – it’s about living in accordance with his heartbeat, in resonance with the depth of his being. I know this sounds rather abstract, but you have tasted it in concrete dimensions through our life together; so I know you understand.

This dance which we are doing is not groundless or directionless. You know how we have been taught that the Master dances over his creation. In fact, creation itself is a result of the artistic explosion emerging from the dance of life in which our Master engages. He created, and he continues to dance over creation.

At some point, we know that creation has lost some significant part of that rhythm. There is no part of creation that has not been, in one way or another, tainted by the loss of that rhythm. But the Master’s dance is a redemptive dance which brings a sort of progressive restoration to all creation. There will come a day when all creation will once again participate in that perfect dance of life, not just as an action, but as a manner of partaking in the Master’s being. This is a promise; remember, we may now be engaging in certain minute battles, but the war is over and the victory has been won. So ours is a call to participate in the victory by engaging in the minor battles rather than fighting a war which we’re trying to win.

Hence, our participation in the dance of life is not a pointless participation. It is a participation through which we partake of the Master’s essence, and in the process, dancing together with him to redeem all of creation back into his fold. Dancing is more than just something we do as people devoted to the Master; it is characteristic of life, and life is an art.

When the Master’s Kingdom is established in all its fullness, then all of life will form an intricate pattern as all of creation participates in this perfect dance of life. Until then, we have to keep dancing towards that vision of the Master’s Kingdom. We fall once in a while when we unknowingly dance in clumsy steps. But we are, after all, mere apprentices. Besides, this is why the Master has put you and me together – so that when either of us falls, we have each other.

Your life, my dear junior apprentice, is an art. Both yours and mine.

Yours most affectionally,
Senior Apprentice

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This is a dispatch from the Junior apprentice. And the following is a reply:

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

It has been such a tediously frustrating and exhausting past week, hasn’t it? I’m hoping that you’ll find a peace within you to slow down in your momentous routines. You have an inclination to rush through life; I see it in the way you drive your vehicle, the way you speak, the way you eat, the way you open and close doors, and the way you get your chores settled. The settlement of these tasks allocated to you by the Order is admirable, but it looks to me like your soul often has a problem catching up with your physical activity. Because your life sometimes seems like one big rush.

I suppose the at this juncture, what you need to hear isn’t so much about the battle we’re engaged in. You’re already fully aware of this battle. But I have on occasions also spoken to you about our life within the Order of the New Kingdom as a dance. It is a dance of life, propelled by the love of the Master, in which he invites you and me to join with him in an inter-penetration of being. Can you almost immediately see that a dance involves a rhythm by which we must live our lives within the purpose of this Order?

What I worry is that you might have often strived so hard to fulfill the requirements of the Order, thinking that this pleases the Master, and in the process forgotten your rhythm. When you live without rhythm, your life loses its artistic value. When your life loses its artistic value, the way you engage in battle looks clumsy and inelegant; and that wouldn’t be very well reflective of life within this impending New Kingdom.

And so, at this moment, my junior apprentice, I have these words to offer to you so you may reflect upon them and allow them to guard the rhythm of your life: watch your step. Do not ever allow yourself be caught in situations where you are found to be loud, rushed, and abrupt. Let your life, your movements, your work, be a magnificent exhibition of graceful splendour.

Keep working well on those goals and tasks set before you, but do it with gracefulness and dance through them with the beautiful rhythm of the Kingdom. Our battle is not a laborious one; it’s a battle that’s already won, remember? Hear the Master keep whispering into the depths of your soul, “Peace, be still”.

Work. But as you do so, know that you are loved.

Yours most affectionally,
Senior Apprentice

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Beloved Junior Apprentice,

Precious one. Yes, more than a year it has been since I have scribed anything in visible articulations for your perusal. Much has taken place in the battlefront throughout this period of time. Multiple events have taken place which threatened the cause of the Kingdom for which we have fiercely sought to live, and countless others have affirmatively impacted the ever-increasing establishment of our Master's subversive Kingdom.

I have fallen not less than once in this past year - this is a painful confession from a senior apprentice. Yes, my dearest friend, senior apprentices too do acquire scars in the course of their battles. But these scars should not constitute a mockery of our conscience or an accusatory voice hailing for the Kingdom's doom. For we know unequivocally that in the final analysis, the Master's Kingdom will come in its fullness... who can stop it? That you and I are called to participate in the Order for the establishment of this Kingdom does not by any means imply that the success of the mission is contingent upon us; our invitation to participate is nothing more than a privilege. The Master loves you and me.

But in this past year, I have been reminded over and over again that as we stand in the midst of the relentless battle against the Old Kingdom, staking ourself for the cause of the New, sometimes it would appear that our greatest enemy is not those we face in the battlefield, but those we face in the mirror. Yes, I am talking about our selves. I'm beginning to wonder which is the more lethally dangerous one of the two.

Beloved junior apprentice, you have grown. I have observed it and I will attest to it with the deepest trust the Master has placed upon me in his charge given to me over you. And I too have grown. I have grown because you were in my life. It feels somewhat strange calling you my junior apprentice any longer, for you have fast become a friend. No, more than a friend. Come, let's keep up the good fight until the Kingdom comes in its fullness; if not today, perhaps tomorrow. Or the day after. It will be done.

Yours most affectionally,
Senior Apprentice

Links to previous Dispatches to the Apprentice:

Dispatches to the Apprentice (1)

Dispatches to the Apprentice (2)

Dispatches to the Apprentice (3)

Dispatches to the Apprentice (4)

Posted by SK at 7:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a little girl who becomes so bedazzled by the mascot of a telecommunications company she keeps talking about him day and night, searching for him in unlikely places, writing him a letter without truly knowing if he might receive it, and never ceasing in her amusement at the mascot.

And then this gigantic telecommunications company receives the letter because the little girl’s mother posts it to them on her behalf, and they unexpectedly feel that the secret wish, the little desire, of this child means the world to her. And they fulfil it by sending the mascot over to meet with her and to take her to school one morning.

The Kingdom of God enters into the world of those – such as these little children – whose secret wishes no one typically bothers to care about and whose insignificant dreams go unnoticed.

There are little Rachels all around the world whose desires dissipate into oblivion and whose dreams remain ignored, because their voices are too small and their inspirations of no consequences to the scheme of things in the present world. The Kingdom-people are those who go to these Rachels, that their voices may be heard and their dreams fulfilled with dignity and honour.

And boy, watch how they scream and squeal and hop and dance when the Kingdom is brought to them. Only these can do justice to the the gift of the Kingdom by their sheer delight, for they know what best to value. The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

The Kingdom of God is where silliness is taken seriously.

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Ever wondered how bystanders must have felt about Jesus and his company of friends? They must’ve thought he was cultivating a bunch of cronies, people who’d ride on his fame and enjoy the benefits of his impending political success.

After all, if he was the one sent by God to topple the Roman Empire and end the horrendous oppression, he would soon emerge to be the new political ruler of Israel. If this was the case, wouldn’t these friends eventually be the ones to occupy the crucial governmental places once their new king established his new cabinet?

Well, yes… this was how they eventually occupied the positions of greatness bequeathed to them:

Matthew -
suffered martyrdom by being slain with a sword at the distant city of Ethiopia.

John -
put in a caldron of boiling oil, but escaped death in a miraculous manner, and was afterward exiled to the remote island of Patmos. Eventually died in a prison.

Peter -
crucified at Rome with his head downward.

James the Greater -
beheaded at Jerusalem.

James the Less -
thrown from a lofty pinnacle of the temple, and beaten to death with a fuller's club.

Bartholomew -
flayed alive.

Andrew -
bound to a cross, from which he preached to his persecutors until he died.

Thomas -
run through the body with a lance at Coromandel in the East Indies.

Jude -
pierced with arrows until he died.

Philip -
crucified.

Simon the Zealot -
murdered by a mob in Persia.

Matthias -
first crushed with rocks and then beheaded.

Sometimes when we see a company of friends journeying together towards the coming of God’s Kingdom in the world, all we seem to see is joy and much laughter. Because of the commitment they have towards one another and the love they share, we perceive them to be recipients of unjust privileges. We think they’re exalting their positions of chosenness and forming a fraternity of nepotists, hungry for the proclamation of social power.

But as each one of these considers the cost of journeying with a bunch of friends who’re serious about their participation in God’s dream for the coming of the Kingdom, there’s an unspoken price which he must pay for the choice he has made. This price and its accompanying sacrifices often go unnoticed and are understood only by those who walk alongside him and suffer the same curse of chosenness.

Chosenness may seem like a privilege. But those who’ve been chosen to walk this journey would swear that it would’ve been much easier to live in ignorant bliss, and that they often wonder if they might not have preferred the less turbulent path.

Posted by SK at 12:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Lord, there is something I must discuss with you. It’s about the issue of allegiance.

If I have to choose what to render to you and what not to, you don’t blame me, do you?

I mean, it’s really a hard world to live in. I have to cope with demands from many parties.

You’re not the only one I have to live for you know. I have to grapple with demands from my employers, my family, my church leaders… and then there’s you…

It’s hard trying to ensure that everybody’s happy with me. You understand, right?

I know you say that all of me belongs to you. But surely you must know that this is purely religious talk which can’t possibly apply in the real world.

If I lived as if all of me belonged to you, my life would be finished.

What will happen to my career which necessitates some measure of compromise on my personal religion? And if my career goes down, what happens to my family?

I have children to school and feed, and I have a wife who needs to be proud of me. You understand, right?

I don’t think anyone would blame me if I thought for myself. I don’t think anyone would dare blame me. And you shouldn’t too, since I’m just being like everyone else.

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Dear Kingdom Citizen,

Your way of life seems rather foolish - I hope you’re aware of that. You must’ve become conscious of this reality by now in the light of how you’ve been treated and how people have talked about you. Most of the time, you find your choices, your values, and your way of life rather out of place; as it were, you seem to be living like you’re from a different world. Half the time, people exert their energies trying to figure you out, and somehow they never manage to - unless they so decide to live with you and to partake in your life.

You’re doing well. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of your relentless decision to walk in the way of my Kingdom. The life you live now is but a prophetic alternative to the rest of the human order - even to many of the people called “Christian” in the institution called “church”. Time and again, your allegiance has been demonstrated in your refusal to act in the way most common to humankind.

Where most others have fought for their rights, you’ve refrained from so much as verbalising a complaint at how you’ve been trampled upon. Where most others have chosen to be pacifists pertaining to the wellbeing of the marginalised, you’ve expressed furious anger at such an absence of human equality and justice. Where most others have chosen to focus solely on the positivistic ethos of the religious life, you’ve not withheld your commitment to my Kingdom by seeking to correct the dislocations you see between the cause of the religious people and the cause of the Kingdom. And one more thing I love about you is this - you love my planet.

I know you suffer. I suffered. In this world, you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world! In time to come, you will witness the fuller rising of my invisible Kingdom - it will creep into the visible order unbeknownst to those who do not desire it. But for you who so desire it, you’re already seeing glimpses of this Kingdom, this state of perfected reconciliation in the order of creation. These glimpses have been effected for your sake. Yes, for your sake, beloved citizen. Just so you know I make good my promises.

Don’t give up. With eagerness, await what is to come. Yes, I am coming soon!

With my deepest affection,
Your Loving King

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The Kingdom of God is like a heavy tremor you feel from a terrifying earthquake occurring in a distant land. You can’t tangibly see its catastrophic occurrence, but you feel the shaking of the ground beneath you and the wobbling of the concrete buildings you’re in.

It leaves you bewildered and wondering, because you know something has effected a shift in the scheme of things. And yet, when you try to point your finger at exactly what has shifted, you realise you can’t even begin to define what has happened. You just know it’s there because you experience its effect, but it’s so profound that no economy of words can do justice to its reality.

The Kingdom of God is intrusive and comes without warning. It’s one of those things in life that happens as an inevitable, much like an unexpected earthquake. And yet, the coming of the Kingdom is not so much a catastrophe for some as it is for many others.

One thing is for sure - the coming of the Kingdom of God rocks you. Sometimes it rocks you so hard you wish you could stay out of its reach. It rocks so vehemently to demolish all the monuments and empires you’ve ever built for yourself in this life. When it’ll ever stop, there’s no saying.

But for now, it has come… and it’ll keep coming. And you can’t run away from it.

Posted by SK at 2:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you are a church leader, there’s something I need to tell you. You know how the church institution is almost always run by committees and boards, sub-committees and sub-boards which make decisions on behalf of the people?

I need you to know that although all the ten people on your committee may be godly and extremely beautiful as individuals, as soon as you make decisions and disseminate the results of your committee discussions, these decisions are cold and impersonal, and often heartless.

If we believe that the fundamental basis of the church’s existence is the Trinitarian community that we call “God” (and not some impersonal parliament or board or committee), the fundamental mechanism for decision-making in any Christian community must be based on relationships. Not committees and boards.

When you make decisions and issue them as “the decision of the committee” so that no single individual in the leadership will have to hold personal accountability for the said decision, people who feel they’ve been victimised can’t even begin to point out who the victimisers are. Because it’d be, simply, “the decision of the committee, not my own decision”. There’s nothing kingdomic about such self-protectionism.

I’ll tell you why committees don’t sit well with my idea of church. The Kingdom of God is not about control and authority, that’s why. It’s about the laying down of control and authority that we may live in love and equality for the love of God and our neighbour. It’s about standing on the side of the helpless and the powerless, whereas the committee is about power.

Please, please don’t say that we’re obligated to love the church whether or not it functions in a better way than this. Because that depends almost entirely on who or what you think “church” is. The committee is not the church; the committee is simply a mechanism for control and authority. The people who’ve been victimised or marginalised - they’re as much the church as you are.

Please, for God’s sake, stop functioning as committees, and start functioning as humans. People to people.

Posted by SK at 6:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

I don't like fairy tales. Because they suck you right into their plot until you begin to own the story for yourself, thinking that it's true. And before you know it, you realise it's just precisely what it is - a fairy tale.

The Gospel of the Kingdom - is it a fairy tale? It often seems like one.

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It has been some years now, Lord, since the dream began. The only thing that compels me to move forward in embracing this dream is my inability to find any reason not to.

You remember the little conversation we had some years back which changed my life, don’t you? I told you that I wouldn’t turn back, no matter what. I was foolish. And at times, it seems quite difficult to continue living in such folly even though I mean never to go back on my word.

The truth is, sometimes I live out the ideals of this dream whilst consciously knowing that they’re impractical and that there’s no guarantee it’ll all work out the way I hope it will. But I guess I didn’t embrace the dream because of its practicality. I embraced it because I know it’s your dream.

But then there are times, like now, when I place that dream in front of me once again and find a reason to keep walking in such foolishness. It gets harder, Lord. Especially at times when the fulfilment of this dream seems to be getting nowhere and few seem to understand the reason for this madness.

On the one hand, I hear your voice saying, “You must believe. It’s my dream you’re sharing in, and what I say shall come to pass”. On the other hand, the accomplishment of the dream often seems madly impossible.

At this moment, I’m the personification of a plethora of contradictions.

I need to know that this dream is more than just a wishful thought, that it is a reflection of a reality that is yet unseen.

Posted by SK at 1:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

The mystery of the Kingdom is like a secret…

It is revealed so openly, and yet it remains a profound mystery to those whose ears and eyes and hearts are shut to that which it reveals. To these, the Kingdom is little more than a visibly organised religion.

But to those with the capacity to listen, the Kingdom has an unsurpassable depth which requires a lifetime of learning, understanding, and living. To these, the secrets are revealed as paradoxes which captivate the heart and cause them to dance according to its rhythm towards the throne of the One who reigns in the realm of the now-and-not-yet.

To those whom the secrets of the Kingdom are revealed - they must carry the cross. For the world loves to punish these secret-carriers.

Posted by SK at 1:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Lord, teach me to pray "Your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" with a genuinely intense desire for the things of your Kingdom.

Help me never to sell myself out to the superficialities of modern religiosity such that my lips boast so blatantly about my devotion towards you, and yet my life demonstrates a profound absence of your Kingdomic dream.

It's hard, Lord - and I know many have lost their homes, their families, their wealth, and their lives for this dream. Grant me strength that I may keep living out the dream, desiring the dream.

If I'm a fool for desiring this dream, grant me the godly dignity of a fool who would dance his way towards you, oblivious of the mocking laughter resounding around him.

Posted by SK at 10:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This Kingdom thing is getting a bit too hard.

Lord help me,
and all of us who still desire a glimpse of it in this life.

Posted by SK at 1:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Whom do you eat with? The table is a symbol of fellowship. It is where people sit and talk with one another, telling one another stories about their lives and how they’ve come thus far in their journey.

Whom a person chooses to hang out with at the table significantly speaks of his self-understanding in terms of his social identity and status. If you’re a middle-class professional, it’s almost inevitable that you’d be seen eating with others like yourself. This is the social system under which we exist – you’re planted in a social order wherein you find others like yourself. You work with them, do church with them, and go to places they frequent. So you eat with them.

At one level, we may say that the gospel necessitates us to sit with others like ourselves because we have to “reach out” to them, since we can speak their language. We often call this “marketplace ministry”, and I don’t desire to dispute the legitimacy of such efforts.

But at another level, the gospel of the Kingdom calls for something more radical. We’re called to be found at the table with people whom others never care to sit with, to eat from plates that others couldn’t bear to share from. We’re called to go and eat with those who have less than us; not just by sharing our middle-class food with them, but by also partaking in their lives by sharing in their lower class food.

The difficult part about this is probably not so much the doing it itself – the difficulty is found in making it a preference. To sit and dine with the marginalised just because it’s a Christian duty just doesn’t quite match the ethos of the Kingdom. The call of the Kingdom is for us to love the marginalised so much that we find our own middle-class social consciousness distasteful, and eventually find our authentic existence by sharing the table with the marginalised. And to prefer being there.

Posted by SK at 12:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

I desire, in this letter, to speak with you briefly on the issue of desperation and despair. As much as we are (and should continuously be) conscious of our mission to inspire the world to live in the way of the Master, realism must constitute the appropriate order of the day. Keep your eyes on the state of humankind today, and you will realise the truth in that which I am saying. Much of our world, even if not in totality, is characterised by desperation and despair...and as much as it pains me to say this, even hopelessness. But of course, you understand that I am speaking from a plainly human point of view.

Let me begin by affirming that it is appropriate to revel in the creative work of our Master in the world. He created the world ex nihilo (out of nothing) and he pronounced it good. I hope you understand that it is our Master who is solely responsible for the existence of creation, and even for the possibility of existence itself. In his creative work, he undertook to create every single atom which exists in the order of the universe today. He did not begin this work merely by fashioning something out of a substance that had already existed independent of him.

His work of creation did not end there, my young friend. The creative work of our Master still abides even as I write to you. It is creatio continua (continuous creation). The entire order of creation is perpetually contingent upon the creative providential work of our Master. If for one instance he were to withdraw his sustaining power from the universe, we would fall not merely into ruins, but into utter nothingness. This I desire to emphasise, so you understand the magnitude of our Master's power and his faithful sustaining grace.

But complications have arisen. People have asked, if our Master is indeed so good, and if in fact the creation that he has made was pronounced good, why then is there pain and suffering in the world? It is in this context that I wish to speak with you about despair and desperation. I am not attempting to offer answers; but perhaps I can suggest a possible alternative of perceiving desperation and despair in life.

Have you, dear apprentice, found yourself so driven to this despair of which I speak? There is a need so deep and intense within you that you know no mortal being can fulfill. Many times throughout your life, you attempt to turn to some person you meet in a hope that your intense need and desire can be fulfilled. And yet humankind never fails to fail you. And so you learn to turn to the Master to seek the fulfilment of your deepest desires. But our Master is no mortal; he is no flesh and blood as we are. Hence, you find no fulfilment in that which you derive from your engagements with him either, for your need is a mortal need. It seems like there is no source - neither in heaven nor on earth - from which you can find that which you seek. Hence, desperation and despair.

Certainly, not all have been called to walk this path of pain and suffering, or to survive a life-long hunger that may never be filled. But I have met a selected few who have. As you journey with such special people, I trust that you will see the potential for redemptive value in this situation. For while their need may never be filled in the sense that they expect, it is this absence of a solution that propells them to cling on to the Master in a way that is unfamiliar to those others who are alien to the realm of pain and suffering. This, of course, will never mitigate their pain, although they can and should keep seeking the Master for spiritual and emotional sustenance. But for as long as the pain and suffering abides, it keeps their hands tightly clenched in the hands of the Master.

It is a complicated and oppressing place to find one's self in. But it keeps one reliant on the creatio continua of our Master. Have you been there before? If not, I pray in time that you will.

Yours most affectionally,
Senior Apprentice

Posted by SK at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

Greetings once again. I trust this letter finds you in good stead, and that you are faithfully scaling every height that this missional journey presents before you. Such adventures in our lives are not always entirely pleasant, but we must learn to be at peace with ourselves and with the Master.

I believe you have been reminded unceasingly, my friend, that the vows you have taken in preparation for this journey have only one end in mind: being missional. And your mission is simply to love the world into the Kingdom of the Master. But you also need to understand what the love of our Master is like, for there is much more to know about his love than meets the eye.

Our Master has a strange capacity to love, which (even after my years of having known him) still intrigues me beyond all captivating powers of the present order of things. You see, he loves in a most dispassionate posture. It is most difficult to crystalise my understanding regarding the state of his disinterest, for I myself have yet to attain the fullness of this virtue. But in saying that our Master loves dispassionately, I do not mean that he has no passion for his people or that he does not love his work. Rather, I mean that he has a capacity to love in such an unselfish way.

When our Master loves others, he loves them for their own sake, and not for that which he may desire from them. He desires the wellbeing of these objects of his love from a truly unselfish interest that he has in them. His dispassionate love is most apparent when it comes to his willingness to seek the good of others even at his own expense.

And yet the amazing paradox is such that his own interest is best served when he loves dispassionately! He wills the good of his people not for the sake of his own good, but simply because he seeks the highest good. Hence, the way that the Master promotes his own interest is to require (of himself and of others) a love that seeks the good of the object loved. This means that to seek to love simply for the promotion of his own interest itself defies his own interest in the highest good. You must find this paradox as baffling as I do, but such is the way of our beloved Master. Worry not, my young friend, for you have many years to learn the missional ways of the Master. Even I stumbled across this discovery almost by accident.

But I need you to know this fact about our Master because when he requires his subjects to love him supremely, he only imposes the same law upon them that he does upon himself. And this knowledge, I am certain, will shed greater light on your understanding pertaining to your missional journey. Until then, my precious friend and companion in the journey, keep loving and living.

Yours most affectionately,
Senior Apprentice

Posted by SK at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

It is the dawning of a new day, a new year, and a new moment in the history of creation when the Master faithfully persists in his crafting of your story and mine. What do you think is in store for you in the year ahead? Exciting and adrenalin-pumping moments of inexhaustible adventure? Or heart-wrenching and trying times?

Whatever your expectations are of the year ahead, I ask that you be prepared to face situations of all kinds. In both joy and in pain, in comfort and in hardship, you must find a steadfast place within yourself that empowers you to be at peace in all circumstances of your life journey. This is possible only when the secret place within you is at peace with the will and purpose of the Master for your life, my dear friend. The moment at which you begin doubting the credibility of the Master's intentions and questioning the integrity of his capabilities, you lose the power is to be found therefrom. Be cautious, therefore, with the thoughts that the feeble human mind is inclined to entertain.

I ask also that you persist in developing a keen sense of self-awareness. Self-awareness speaks of the power of one's observation of his own inclinations towards certain thought and behaviour patterns, and the ability to comprehend the possible effects of these thought and behaviour patterns upon one's self and others.

You see, whilst some people (like yourself) have the ability to optimise the potential of your existence, the rest of the world simply exists. To settle for a state of mere existence is undesirable, for the Master desires that you should so comprehend the depth with which he has designed you and the ability with which he has endowed you to be a source of inspiration to your fellow humankind. Cultivate deeper self-awareness, for the measure to which you are able to inspire the world to share with you in our Master's dreams is also commensurate with your measure self-awareness. Know not just why you exist, but also how to exist.

Our Master loves new beginnings, my young apprentice. And if you would look to him, he keeps no records of your imperfections from the past. This year marks a new chapter of the journey, and hence a new beginning. And yet, the paradoxical beauty of it lies in the reality that the new chapter your journey is in fact a continuation of an ancient legacy that has been passed down to us by our Fathers. What a beautiful story. Come, run the race... tirelessly.

Yours most affectionately,
Senior Apprentice

Posted by SK at 7:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Beloved Junior Apprentice,

Greetings. I trust this letter finds you in good stead, and that your life finds favour with the Master. We are not living in easy times, my dear friend. I desire that you keep your eyes wide open to observe that which is happening around you in our world. There is much that will shock you; but still, the future hope assured to us is one that keeps us walking in the light of hope... it is a hope of a full restoration of the Master's reign in time to come.

It is for us - you and me - to be alert at all times. The Master is busy crafting a beautiful story of his Kingdom. Subtly and subversively, his Kingdom is being established whilst the world persists in its momentum. The mandate for us, my young apprentice, is that of seeking to increasingly understand the development of this story as it unfolds. And as we do so, the onus falls upon us to also live the future in the present, for the culmination of this story has already been revealed to us.

Be watchful, for the unfolding of this story passes by those who have not sought to understand and those who have been undiscerningly caught up in the common state of affairs. Not too long ago, you voluntarily gave yourself to a cause and embraced the vows necessary for the fulfillment of this mission. But it is easy for us to grow weary and lose sight of that to which we have devoted ourselves, especially during dark moments.

Remember that the presence of the Master remains with us who have embraced his purpose and will. At times when other "voices" seem to instruct you in ways that contradict that which you know to be the way of the Master, find the strength from within you to resist those voices. Know that he is with you. And in all that you do, remember to love him.

Yours most affectionately,
Senior Apprentice

Posted by SK at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)